Free! -style

Im constantly arrested by the manifest presence of the blessed, tried true stood and was tested,
He told me I was free, I could do it if I believe, Told the boogey man He cant squeeze me
Instead I roll forward, not looking back in constant horror, Not condemned as a pillar of salt,
or smushed together like a mound of asphalt, never do I halt, My heart is like a catupult, shooting me like a bronze dagger, I stroll intently with a wicked swagger,
My truths grounded in the everlasting, My Body No longer a form but a molten casting,
Shaped and molded in the intense fire, His will becomes my desire,
Now knowing I am steadied by this intense glowing, Consumed to the point of blowing,
In constant state of knowing, I am a beacon now set apart, With a force pulled deep, seeking and searching my heart, from this truth, only wickedness departs, I am no king Im only the messenger, Bestowed with wings, Carried on a rocket that zings, never to be layed to eternal rest, But if only to have been able to withstand the test!
staring into the eyes of destruction was the failing way,
Instead never an alien abducted from this path do I stray,

Git'r Done..

Let me start by saying God don't like lazy and at times, I am lazy!!
Sometimes i take a step back and think about all the things I need to do and get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing! When I was in High school, I took higher math classes like pre cal and for some reason, I thought I could pass this class by doing nothing! What a concept, achievement based on laziness. Not only is this not possible, its not even biblical. In 2nd Thessalonians it says if a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat! I would do just enough to get by and pass the class and looking back if I would've worked at it, I would have done so much better.
Sometimes there are things I need to do and I make a decision to put it off until... who knows. Whenever I get around to it I guess. I don't think I am a lazy person. I try to do things with all my effort and the truth is sometimes, that effort is postponed and causes the end result to be rushed. I get the "Good Enough" mentality going on and it becomes acceptable to me, only because I just didn't have enough time! But the truth is I waited so long to start, that I caused myself to be constrained by a time crunch. I would much rather be the person that comes to "class" prepared, instead of rushing to get it done just in time to realize I left my notes at home and have no time to go back for them. This is difficult for me since I have always lived this way in certain areas of my life.
I recently have been put in charge of some great responsibilities, and I now realize when I am unprepared, It not only makes me look bad, but a whole ministry and sets a low standard for others to follow. Its a fight in myself. And then when I fail, I realize it and tell myself, "that wont happen again", But then I also have my leaders, telling me the same thing, "Raul, this can't happen again." Ouch... This is where the choice comes in. I can either make the choice to accept my failure, Learn from my mistakes and move on, or make excuses. Hopefully I am someone that can learn, I know that I don't know it all. I need people to tell me the difficult things I don't want to hear. I need to stop making excuses for why I am the way I am, and try to be more like the way Jesus taught me to be. I am a mess without His help. I thank God for the people I am surrounded with, and love me enough to tell me when I suck!

Praise and Malfunction?

So as you may or may not know I am worship leader at my church. All that means to me is that I am the voice that is loudest (only because I got the Mic baby) but seriously, Some days everything that could possibly go wrong, Does!! And honestly I try not to let it bother me. I don't think God cares how great we as a team sound (not that we want to sound bad or dont strive for excellence). The truth is things are always going to malfunction. As long as its not a "wardrobe malfunction".Right? As I learned from years being a maintenance Tech; Everything built by man will eventually break! I dont care if its Foreign, Domestic, Pc, or Mac and not to mention my personal favorite, Operator Error! Thats good for me as a repairman. But what is all this anyway, why do we do this? Every church service is the same, We go in sing a couple songs, listen to some Dude tell me about how sweet God is and then strum a couple bars at the end and go home.
I've found for sure that the times I live my week that way that it is not as fullfilling, all the songs are just songs, just music, just words! And conversely when I take my whole life and live it in worship to God, A song service is incredible. Everything I sing is so true. I've seen God and know he's real. He doesn't feel so far off. Taking and living out the truths I learn is difficult, but extremely gratifying. One thing I have learned is that when I give my life and time to him, Crazy things happen, and I know that there is no other way, other than God did it. Serving God is the true act of worship. Because I do it with out selfishness in mind, its all about him, not me! To show the world who he is. And then sunday worship time is exciting, all the things I am singing about are so true. I can sit back and say, Yea thats the truth, Yep God you are awesome, and wow you really do love me, and I love you too!
Nothing is ever going to go as smoothly as we plan, But that is not what the service was about anyway. And God isnt interested in joining in our plans, but only wants us to join him in his.

Don't Make Sense

So God is so amazing, Why? Well let me tell you. Nothing that He does ever makes any sense. And really who am I to understand God . Is it even possible? He is so Great and has everything planned out, to work out perfectly. Life does not go on by any means easy and perfect. There is always something that is going on and falling apart and God is still always there. Okay so He is God and He knows everything. So is He standing there watching me going "ohh come on make the right choice", Just like we watch children when they dont know we are watching them, just to see what they do when they think no one is around? I don't know, I kind of like to think that He is. And just like us, maybe He is happy when we do the right thing. But Still God makes the impossible possible! It says in 1st Corinthians, that the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than Man's strength. The words Foolish and weak and God just don't seem like they go together. I think its just a way of putting it in a way that we can understand it. Of course God is not foolish or weak, But that is how much greater than us He is. Our Wisest is still only as foolish to him.
God takes situations in my life and says "Here, have this", even though it makes no sense. I lost my wife,Rachael, a year and a half ago. And somehow God brought me to a place where I was thankful for Him, and In love with Him. Now He has brought an amazing person into my life that I'll get to spend it with, and to me it makes no sense. I lost my job. I was making good money on a terrible shift, and it was a blessing from Him. Then I lost that job, and that was a blessing from Him, I was able to spend the entire summer serving and spending time with Alyssa, And doing ministry that I love. It makes no sense. Now I get a better job with better hours in an economy that is broken, It makes no sense. Sure it made less sense while I was going through it, and at times it was difficult to serve, to give money, and to be positive. But obedience to God always pays off, Because He works for the good of those that love him. Right now My Future wife is 3000 miles away and when I talk to her it always seems that we are learning the same things! For some reason God decided to seperate us for 3 months, to teach us the same thing! It doesnt make sense, But one thing is for sure, God's plan never makes sense to me. So I am going to trust him. He's got it all together and it's all for a reason. So like it says at the end of 1st Corinthians chapter 1 "Let Him who boasts, boast of the Lord", So I will just give Him all the credit, since He did it all. And its all so that he will get the glory. Maybe your going through something that is difficult. Just trust in him and obey, And He will suprise you and bless you for it, even when it makes no sense.