Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted
Hospitals are not my favorite places. Leading up to the time it was for Alyssa to have the baby I was becoming increasingly nervous. There are so many things to think about and so many things that can go wrong and right. I am naturally a pretty easygoing person and always assume the best will happen.
Being in the Hospital all night brings back so many memories. Nights staying in a hospital with my wife Rachael (who passed away April 2007) when she was going through so much. She almost always did it all with a smile. If she was in pain she didn't show it to anyone except me and even then it was minimal. She was a fighter and a tough Chick. And a sassy one for sure. I know the night Rachael died I thought it was going to be a normal experience. I had seen her go through surgeries and come out. I had taken her home and seen her have hard nights where breathing normally was extremely difficult, and she always came through. I would say I was extremely optimistic when the ambulance took her away. Well that was the last night I ever saw her. If it taught me anything, it's that life is so unexpected.
I often catch myself worrying about small things. A night when perhaps Alyssa is out with friends and doesn't call me back right away. At moments like that my head races with possibilities of what might have happened as to why she isn't answering. Of course few of them are good. A while later when she finally calls there is a mixture of relief and anger. An over-reaction to say the least. It says in God's word that no one is promised tomorrow. God doesnt want us to live in fear of what may happen. We aren't promised another day. Today is the day we should live for.
Needless to say when you experience loss you learn to appreciate what you have.
I lost Rach almost 4 years ago and a baby 5 years ago (baby Raul).
Today I have a living wife and a living baby. I know I dont deserve this grace and love, but I hope to cherish those two as long as God blesses me with them...one day at a time
